Sommersault
Still waiting 'til the freezing is over
Still feel it stick to me inside
Still falling as I'm holding the table
Still waiting on the sun rise
And I think
I can't even think
I can't even speak
But I can still smile
I honestly feel like I'm standing up straight, holding individual pieces of rope that my friends are holding onto. I can either feel me losing grip of the rope, or them letting go. I'm not sure which. All I know is that I feel as though my friends are slipping away from me and that I'm slowly but surely beginning to lose everyone. I'm trying to grab onto some pieces in particular, but finding it very difficult to reach for all of them at once. I'm not sure why that is. People's attitudes have changed lately and I feel as though everyone is "leaving" me. I'm not whining so don't think that. I've been in a very strange mood for these past few days...well the days since Sunday actually, and I just don't know what it is. I feel as though my world has turned upside (hence the title) and I would really like it to stop and for things to feel normal again. Things need to be sorted out and talked about. Maybe that will help me out a smidge.
Daneel : Your blogging will be truly missed. I wish that you would reconsider. I will miss reading your stories and our hilarious days from your point of view. I'm keeping the link to your site up because, even though it's incredibly sad, I love what you wrote as your closing paragraph. People should read it. I love you so much darling. We will talk soon, my darling Pumpernickle.
Cuffer: Thank you for the call tonight. I'm sure you didn't know it at the time but that made my day. I'm so glad that I finally got to talk to you. We must make it a habit. You know, talking. Comes in handy. I love you and miss you so much.
Clay: Thank you for the call tonight too. Not even a hello, I know. You're my darling and I'm so glad that I have you to bitch to. No questions asked. I love you so much baby.
I feel incredibly empty, incredibly apathetic to life around me, incredibly melancholy, and incredibly worn out mentally. I'm finding it difficult to laugh...I have to be really caught up in the moment in order to do so.
Idunno guys. I hate feeling like this. This blog sounds incredibly pathetic. Maybe I'm just in a pathetic mood, who knows. Everyone gets in those at times though. Bear with me, it'll pass I'm sure. It doesn't usually take me too long to get over stuff like this...but one problem is that I can't nail down one thing that is spurring all of these feelings. I'll figure it out. Then I'll be able to solve it.
I also know that a few of my most dear friends are going through some rough times right now as well. As shitty as I feel I'm still always here for you guys. Come talk to me...we can all help each other out. I'm sorry that you guys are having such a shitty time too.
Buried in the sky like a planet in day light
Not hidden very well
I can only see half of what's going on
But i'm alright
Cause I can still smile
I wish I could see all that was going on.
Just in case you were curious.
Still feel it stick to me inside
Still falling as I'm holding the table
Still waiting on the sun rise
And I think
I can't even think
I can't even speak
But I can still smile
I honestly feel like I'm standing up straight, holding individual pieces of rope that my friends are holding onto. I can either feel me losing grip of the rope, or them letting go. I'm not sure which. All I know is that I feel as though my friends are slipping away from me and that I'm slowly but surely beginning to lose everyone. I'm trying to grab onto some pieces in particular, but finding it very difficult to reach for all of them at once. I'm not sure why that is. People's attitudes have changed lately and I feel as though everyone is "leaving" me. I'm not whining so don't think that. I've been in a very strange mood for these past few days...well the days since Sunday actually, and I just don't know what it is. I feel as though my world has turned upside (hence the title) and I would really like it to stop and for things to feel normal again. Things need to be sorted out and talked about. Maybe that will help me out a smidge.
Daneel : Your blogging will be truly missed. I wish that you would reconsider. I will miss reading your stories and our hilarious days from your point of view. I'm keeping the link to your site up because, even though it's incredibly sad, I love what you wrote as your closing paragraph. People should read it. I love you so much darling. We will talk soon, my darling Pumpernickle.
Cuffer: Thank you for the call tonight. I'm sure you didn't know it at the time but that made my day. I'm so glad that I finally got to talk to you. We must make it a habit. You know, talking. Comes in handy. I love you and miss you so much.
Clay: Thank you for the call tonight too. Not even a hello, I know. You're my darling and I'm so glad that I have you to bitch to. No questions asked. I love you so much baby.
I feel incredibly empty, incredibly apathetic to life around me, incredibly melancholy, and incredibly worn out mentally. I'm finding it difficult to laugh...I have to be really caught up in the moment in order to do so.
Idunno guys. I hate feeling like this. This blog sounds incredibly pathetic. Maybe I'm just in a pathetic mood, who knows. Everyone gets in those at times though. Bear with me, it'll pass I'm sure. It doesn't usually take me too long to get over stuff like this...but one problem is that I can't nail down one thing that is spurring all of these feelings. I'll figure it out. Then I'll be able to solve it.
I also know that a few of my most dear friends are going through some rough times right now as well. As shitty as I feel I'm still always here for you guys. Come talk to me...we can all help each other out. I'm sorry that you guys are having such a shitty time too.
Buried in the sky like a planet in day light
Not hidden very well
I can only see half of what's going on
But i'm alright
Cause I can still smile
I wish I could see all that was going on.
Just in case you were curious.
posted by Rae at 11:16 PM
3 Comments:
Winters are often associated with depression and blue moods, especially the month of January, which is not always the happiest time of the year.
However, the worst is yet to come as experts have announced that January 24, next Monday , would be the most depressing day of the year.
The experts, who have derived a special formula to calculate the most depressing day, have also warned people not to take it personally if friends, family and colleagues seem particularly grumpy on that day.
A combination of poor weather, personal debt and failed attempts to stick to New Year's resolutions are likely to get too much for everyone on January 24.
Dr Cliff Arnall, of Cardiff University, came up with the date using a formula to illustrate the various emotional factors at play. The formula reads [W+(D-d)]xTQ MxNA and takes into account six factors likely to have an emotional impact at this time of the year.
These include the weather (W), debt (D) (minus the amount of money to be paid on your next pay day) and the time since Christmas (T).
Then there is the time since a failed attempt to quit a bad habit (Q) along with general motivational levels (M) and the need to take action to have something to look forward to (NA).
Dr Arnall said the formula results could vary between individuals. But he believed January 24 would work out as the lowest point for many.
"A significant number are also very sensitive to low levels of sunshine and poor weather and emotionally that is a big thing," he was quoted by the Daily Mail, as saying.
"Recharging during Christmas gives us a positive feeling towards work and new plans but this begins to wear off by the third week of January. Just to top it all off the 24th is a Monday which always makes people think 'Oh no' as they realise that the weekend is over," he added.
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Hey baby! I love you and nothing could ever pull us apart. I promise. I feel the same way right now, I kinda feel like my whole life is falling apart although there is no one explanation for why I feel this way right now. But I have you and you have me. And where there comes a moment where you have an incredible epiphany as to why you're not feeling up to par with your normal crazy roasted duckling self, I'll be here to give you a hug and pick you back up. Hey maybe it's not even you at all!! haha You're hungry, I'm hungry, I'm bummed, you're bummed. Geepers! It'll pass, you will never lose your ability to laugh, and talent for giving everyone else something to laugh about (bits & bites : ) Keep your chin up darling girl, we'll talk, and it will all be okay.
"I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face
Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all
Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful
Things that you never think about
Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds
It's amazing how we don't appreciate our blessings
There's plenty of people who don't like me
But since there are more who love me and I love myself
Sometimes, it gets tough, it gets tough
But I can't give up, can't give up
Just take a deep breath, close my eyes
Feel the love and give a smile
Everything's gonna be alright,
everything's gonna be okay"- DeStInY's cHiLd
Do you make the most of your five senses,
Or is your life like Old Mother Hubbard's shelf?
Well, mark this on your slate,
Life is not an empty plate.
That's if you appreciate yourself.
Ev'ry time you're near a rose,
Aren't you glad you've got a nose?
And if the dawn is fresh with dew,
Aren't you glad you're you?
When a meadowlark appears,
Aren't you glad you've got two ears?
And if your heart is singing, too,
Aren't you glad you're you?
You can see a summer sky,
Or touch a friendly hand,
Or taste an apple pie.
Pardon the grammar, but ain't life grand?
And when you wake up each morn,
Aren't you glad that you were born?
Think what you've got the whole day through,
Aren't you glad you're you?
- Frank Sinatra (The Bells of St. Mary's)
Sometimes we fall into a pit, and it seems like the more that we try to climb out, the more trapped we become. But knowing that you are able to try to overcome your obstacle is reason enough to succeed. Every breath that you take is a gift of life, and that gift of life is telling you that everything will be alright.
And don't forget that you're "theatre". Nothing beats "(insert leg/chin thing here)- theatre". love and hugs!
Hey! Remember when I’m going to love you forever no matter what? Hello BFF Forever! Which of my other friends have 2 forever’s? That’s right! Only you! You are NEVER going to lose me as a friend. That’s right. You’re stuck with this one for life! :p We’ve been best friends for a bajillion years and that’s not going to change anytime soon. You’ve always been there for me and now it’s my turn to be there for you. You are my lifeline. Without you I wouldn’t be here right now telling you how much I care about you! I am concerned. How could I not be? You are one of the biggest parts of my life! You are my Raychal. I could be the busiest person in the world and I would drop absolutely everything to have coffee with you and talk and make sure everything is Ok. Anytime you ever need anything, I’m going to be there for you. I promise. Never forget how much I love you.
You are my Solla Sollew.
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