Down With Size and Down With Cupid

Alright so...

Here's to the Cardinal Puff Puff, second blog of the night.
(ps> way to talk to ME twice on the phone tonight, Cuffer) ; )

Alright, so, I don't know how many of you went through this phase...it's the phase of the "fanned out keyboard". Do you remember these things? They're from the 90's and they're basically a keyboard, only fanned out so that there is like an inch of space between the section of keys that you use for your right hand, and that you use for your left. I am using said keyboard because I am too lazy to clean the other one (Jay and I had a little accident involving canned fruit juice, to make a medium lengthed story short). Anyways, this thing has been sitting in the downstairs closet for who knows how long, and in all honesty, using it is hurting my arms and my upper back! It is SO hard to push the keys down (yes yes I'm weak, yes yes spindle fingers) but they do have SOME strength in them...piano doesn't weaken your hands afterall. But this is a lot more work than my current "up to date" keyboard, that's for sure. And this one is really loud. Every push of the key makes a really loud sound. OW the tendons in my arms. Tendonitis. Carpol Tunnel. Hypocondriac, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Shopping, dinner, "work on chekhovs", walked dogs, did NOTHING, listened to music, planned our tap project, ate popcorn, webcammed with Dee, spilled juice. That's my night.

Right, so the enter key just got stuck down and it was scrolling all the way through this blog and I couldn't stop it. Good keyboard.

Ok my scapulas hurt...pain, pain.
Well as completely thrilling and worthwhile as this blog was, I must head to bed.

There's still no news on Mayzie.
The insurance guys haven't seen her yet.
I feel quite stuck in the house.
It's an odd feeling.
But it's good for Chekhov.
(That's what his wife used to say)
Just in case you were curious.

Just Because

This is the first out of 2 new blogs that I'm writing today. (I'm doing this one to make it known that I actually do intend to blog, but because most, if not all of you, post comments during the day, I wanted to leave you a new one to comment on, before the NEW new one is posted. The latter will be posted at the end of today).
My plans for today are to go shopping with Jay Jay, get some kick assed new clothes, and then have a "fun" Chekhov night so that we can help each other memorize our lines.
These last few days have been highly un-eventful. I got to talk to Klo last night, which was awesome and which does not happen enough, even though the conversation was interrupted a few times by a certain One ("it's clayton. he's pissed. hold on") and I couldn't even get a decent goodbye to Klo in because of the other line beeping away in my ear. (Love you asshole).
What else....I've been memorizing my script, sitting on my butt and eating like a crazed animal. It's pretty fun actually...there's some decent food around my house (including the AMAZING cupcakes that Jay brought over the other night).
Let me tell you, all of you, that the help and the support (Jay Jay and Clay) and the amazingly kind words (Leah and Dee especially) have really brought my spirits up with all of this crap. Seriously, time and time again you have all come through with amazing support. I am such an incredibly lucky girl. Cuffer, don't worry about it. Not everything is about me ; )
Jay and I saw Metamorphases the other day and Leah! I am so sorry for all of the confusion! Jay told me what happened and I was completely unaware that we had made any sort of arrangements. I feel terrible hunny! I'm so sorry for all of that happening.

I might blog later on tonight...depending on how all of the Chekhov stuff goes.

I have a shower towel on my head.
It's making my neck hurt.
My head is tilted to the right.
I am a Seagull.
No, that's NOT what I meant to say!
Just in case you were curious.

Broken Car, Broken Heart

Mayzie was broken into. Someone smashed in my back window with a chunk of cement, stole all of my CD's, including the CD (yelling) case, and if that's not bad enough, took the case off of my ignition, attempted to start the car and ended up shoving a piece of metal in the ignition so that I couldn't get the key in. Broken window, broken ignition and a broken heart, twice over. A lot has happened in the past couple days that has really changed me, and not for the better. I've been shown first hand on two occasions this weekend how things can fall apart right infront of your eyes. I've been shown that even though you think something is safe, that something is sacred, you have to ensure that it is not only you who feels that way. I've learned to watch out, to be careful and to think harder. I've been put in my place twice this weekend, whether it was by the acts of a stranger or not. I'm frightened, I'm hurt, I feel unsafe and I don't feel as grounded as I used to. I'm still in complete shock from the happenings of yesterday and today - it seems like a dream. A nightmare. I can never be sorry enough.


Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos and memories of dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.



I smile, I don't complain....
Life is never what you planned.
Life is moments you can't understand, and that is life.
I'm holding to the ground as the ground keeps shifting.
Trying to keep sane as the rules keep changing.
Keeping up my head as my heart falls out of sight.
Everything will be all right.
Everything will be all right.
But I don't know when.
...you know the rest.

Dutch Blitz? Dutch Bitchz.

Boys, one of these days I'm going to win. I could always focus more on the game than on the random swearing, but what the ass-shit-crap-weasel is the bitchin-shitty fun in that-effin-idea? (this is only a website afterall...I didn't feel that I should display my true Dutch Blitz swearing tactics on here...you never know who may wander over to this site....someone like Joel...I hear he doesn't like swearing....*whisper* in the Shire). Joel? J/k dead-whore-in-my-closet...I know you can handle it. MAN that game rocks.

I know it's been a very long time since I've updated, and the last update wasn't really an update, just a rockin' hot story. So here's the update.

This past week/weekend....Cuff and the boys came into town which rocked because I love seeing you all. Cuff had an awesome audition (shush Cuff you're a professional singer, I believe you) (no bathroom...well maybe a little bit bathroom...). See look at that...3 days together and already more random jokes. So Dee and Cuff and I hung out a lot. Oh and ps> fake anger over MSN...not always cool...fake angry phone messages...not always cool. Stupid bih-chuzz. You had me worried there. I won't believe you next time you're fake angry, even if it's real. The 3 days went by way too quickly as per usual. Not cool.
I learned Sweet Ones in a new key, which everyone likes better except for me because it's a lot more work to play than the one that I learned from the CD. (Way to show me up, Eesa...now I have to live up to your guitar playing. Oh but we have to play it together sometime...that'd be so fun!)
Had an awesome breakfast, courtesy of Dee Dee on Sunday morning...pancakes and peanut butter? Anyone out there that has actually heard of this and/or done it (besides YOU cuff) please tell me. I wasn't brave enough to try it. I'm a fan of my arteries.
OH and the Chekhov scenes went well. Congrats again 1st years.
Oh and there's this little show called 42nd Street going on at GrantMac right now. Yep. Just a little bit AWESOME. With a certain someone *cough* Jaysen *cough* being EFFING AMAZING. What is this feeling? Pride, bih-chuzz. Pride. I love you BlueJay.
What else...OH I just finished my English essay after bitching about it for a while. Mission statement? Almost all there. I kicked the essay's ass...1,200 and some words. And I never even read the book. Hooray for creative writing. It has a whole new meaning since the days of Junior High... : S
Other than that, more random fun times at school.
Found out I'm in Wild Honey which is a hilarious show and I'm very looking forward to doing it, but not completely looking forward to the 10pm rehearsals. It'll be cool though. Great cast, great director, great show. (I'm very diverse in my adjectives. Great, huh?).
Clay's coming home to stay in March!!
How was everyone's ISAD? Mine wasn't sad, thank goodness. I hope that you all pulled through the hard times and kept a bottle of Tequilla close at hand.
My Dee wrote me the sweetest note of life yesterday. I will treasure it always hunny. It's going in my box. (you know what I mean).

So tired. I had intended to go to sleep earlier tonight but that won't be happening.

Dance with me.
Dancing through life.
Dancing Queen.
Let's dance.
Dance like there's no one watching.
(Apply this to the above statements)
Dance =
The vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
I put that in my essay.
Just in case you were curious.

The Prince And The Jew

This is a little story that completely made my night.
(sorry Daneel, he put you in the story too...)

"The Prince and the Jew"
- by Cole Hofstra


There once was a prince named Cole, and he was loved by all his people (yaayayyayay cheers and what not) . He was the greatest prince in all the land and the people could not wait for him to be King. But for this to happen, he needed a bride!!(dun dun daaaaa). But the only eligable girl around was the evil not so pretty , (mabye one day i promise) Accountant's daughter Daneel. Cole was doomed to a life of unhappyness with this dispicable ACCOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER (dum dum daaaaa) So with the wedding only a week away, Cole was getting panicy if he did not find somone he truly fancied or soon he would have to marry THE ACCOUNTANTS ...you get the idea...(dum dum daaaaa).
So he set out on what he called his "bachelor weekend" before the wedding to actually find himself a suitable wife... not the ACOU... hahaha.....So after searching town after town he could not find any single women (what is wrong with these people they are like bunnies or somthing).
The final town on his journey was the glorious - not - so - shabby - fantastic town of GMAC!. While walking in the town he saw a great deal of potential girls everywhere....what was the poor prince to do!? He went into the local tavern to have a fine pint of ale to see what opportunities would arise.
There were whores and prostitutes and single women grabbing at his heels just wishing to touch his GYNORMAS...petticoat...it was silk.

Then she walked in!!!!!!!

SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL he had ever laid eyes on. Her name was Rachie and she was the daughter of the poor Jewish lawyer. Cole was frazal dazaled and could not contain his excitement , so he quickly got up and ran ......straight into the washroom to urinate. But when he was done, he went up to talk to her.
She was of course, naturally, surrounded by bulky strong men. When Cole walked in, one of the men took a swing at him. Cole was a stranger in the town, of course, and being as pretty as he was, he was automatically a threat to them and their attempts at their beloved Rachie. So with a swing and a miss, Cole fought back with amazing speed and kicked royal ass.
When he was done, he carried Rachie off into the sunset....but they didn't get far before she kicked him in the groin and said, "Who the eff are you??!"
He ( while regaining blood to his manhood), exclaimed that she was "the girl of his dreams", and he "would do any thing to marry her!". He said, "The look in your deep eyes is so charming that I could spend a life time getting lost". She was obviously whhhoooed over by Cole's truth and charm, so she quickly agreed to marry him........overlooking the fact he had 6 toes.
So they set off on their way to the kingdom with only hours to go to the wedding to THE ACCOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER!!
(They battled a few hundred fireflies on the way but that is a different story)
So they arrived at the castle gate with wedding music playing. Cole and Rachie were twiterpatted with one another , and with all they have gone through together (fire flies!!), their bond could never be broken.
Cole then walked staight up to THE ACOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER Daneel and said, " I can't marry you because you're only moderate looking - but I promise one day you'll be pretty and people won't throw things any more".
She looked deep into Cole's face and could see that he had no feelings for her at all. She bit him, really hard..... I think there was a scar even.......and ran away flailing and yelling,"Not pretty.....not pretty...."
Cole and Rachie had their chance at last to be together and be bonded but......
Rachie is a JEW!

Silence fell over the crowd and Cole yelled at the top of his lungs, "I love her and if you people can't accept that then get the hell out of my kingdom!! I'll hang you all!!"
Everyone stayed silent untill there was a slow clap coming from the back!
It was sir Blake! Cole's advisor !!
The whole crowd cheered with thier new found (forced) acception and love for Rachie.
They were wed at once and had 122 children and mabye a dog. They spent their summers slaying dragons, and the winter torturing pesants and cuddling by the fire.

THE END


I don't think you're ugly, Daneel.
I think you're the prettiest
Accountant's daughter ever.
I would wed you.
Just in case you were curious.

Sprite, O.J., Grenadine, Maraschino

Ever since Dee and I bought all the makings of Shirley Temples on our (quite expensive, yet HEALTHY) grocery shopping spree, I haven't been able to stop having them. I am the biggest fan of maraschino cherries in the world, and Shirley Temples happen to add to them very nicely. I even have my first bottle of grenadine...I was so proud! Good thing I go way overboard with the grenadine (I've never used it myself, so I just get really excited) so that the drink turns the color of my BEAUTIFUL (Jaysen) red BOW gloves! You know Jay? The red ones that match my purse perfectly? The ones that you love? I should give them to you as a present. Anyways, that's a side story. But yes, I get very excited with the grenadine and the drink turns bright red and then just doesn't look like a Shirley Temple...unless she got murdered in the glass. But I enjoy them. And I also enjoy that Dee and I are attempting to eat healthier. (This coming from the girl who had 2 EFFIN HUGE oatmeal raisin cookies yesterday and one today...but damn they're good). (and they have oatmeal in them. cuddle = committment and oatmeal = healthy).

I think that I'm actually allergic to orange juice. It's very odd. The day after I have any, or sometimes just 5 minutes after I have any, my nose gets all stuffy and I start sneezing and coughing. This has happened for a long time. Yes yes, I know what some (Jay, AGAIN) of you are thinking...."good ol' hypochondriac Rachel...always thinking she's sick" (*flashback* "My neck hurts, my back hurts and my nose is stuffy...I HAVE MENENGITIS!!".....it actually happened for those of you who I haven't told the story to. Ask Jason...lol or Kloe). But seriously, I always get the common cold for a couple of days after I have orange juice. How odd is that? It's not bad, just a stuffy nose. It's very odd, to answer my previous question...very odd indeed.

ISAD is just around the corner, but this ISAD, I won't be sad! I have a Valentine! (and a wonderful Valentine at that). Thanks to My Cuff, ISAD won't be as sad anymore...but for those of you going through the turmoils of ISAD, my (non-valentine's inspired) heart is with you and I will be here for moral support. Or, if you are like Leah, cozy up to a good ol' bottle of Tequilla to cure those un-struck hearts of yours. (Thanks for the mention on your blog love!!)
(For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, a few years ago I decided that Valentine's Day is International Singles Awareness Day because, let's face it, it becomes SO much more apparent how single you are if you're single on the most romantic day of the year. That name just happens to spell ISAD, and so, Valentine's Day has been renamed that ever since, for those of us who are "significant-other impaired").
...wait a minute...
our Valentine's Day is on the 12th....so I won't have an actual Valentine on Valentine's Day because he won't be here......not to mention we'll be in Theory until 9:30 or something stupid like that. Aw, I think an ISAD post might be on it's way...


Big Turk bars only have
3 g of fat in them!
That's 60% less than the
average chocolate bar (apparently).
Just in case you were curious.

Ricochet

Not sure which, but one of us is. One person said it was only one of us, not the one that I thought, whereas some other people think that it was the other one. I don't really know. Some also think that it's both. It would kind of suck though. But to tell you the truth, it's weird because I don't really care all that much all of a sudden. It's so strange how priorities shift, ain't it? It doesn't take long either for things to completely change, depending on the situation of course. This person has come to a realization and it is completely fitting, I think. But it's kind of a surprising and drastic change....probably so surprising because it is pretty fast.

"Holding to the ground as the ground keeps shifting..."
("Falsettos"...great musical).

I think that some of you will
understand my blabbering tonight.
It's meant to be in code.
Even the title is a "code".
It's more fun that way.
Just in case you were curious.

Bonding and Blocking

Who would have thought of the idea of getting drunk on a Wednesday, (with an amazing dinner, by the way), having a drunken sleepover, then skipping English, later going to get coffee from Starbucks (only to put Baileys in it shortly there after) and still going to school? My friends would. Yep, that would be my Wednesday. Go Drunken-Middle-Of-The-Week!

Certain friendships are starting to rock and roll again, while others surprise me...and not in a totally good way. Getting in touch with those farther away is still a challenge for me because usually when I come home I'm working on something, attempting to work on something, or sleeping. Decisions still have to be made and they're not totally easy ones. I have certain rocks in my life that I am so incredibly thankful for, and they are all rocks for different occasions...but they are solid none the less. I'm FOR it.
Speaking in semi-code confusing any of you yet? Haha I'm sure it is. But I've heard from a few of you that you enjoy the random ramblings and the codes, so have fun! : )

Jaysen...I'm going to make you get to a computer at school so that you can read this. Because I want you to be happier, to not hate the world, and for you to realize that there truly IS a (frozen) candy frog at the end of every frickin-huge-assed slurpee. Buck up, button up your overcoat, don't make me hit you, remember when I smacked him off the mountain and, BFF forever, "there's a faraway land so the stories all tell, somewhere beyond the horizon. If we can find it then all will be well. Troubles there are few. Someday we'll go to Solla Sollew...and I'll be home with you". If we can get there, we're gonna stay there. I love you, blue jay.

My Cuff, I'm going to call you very soon. This is effed up. We haven't talked forever. Love and miss. <8>
Clay, hooray for actually (drunken) talking tonight. "I knew you were going to do that, but you know what? I didn't. So whatever". Love love.
Dinkle, you make me feel like a natural woman. I love you Pumpernickle-Turkey-Dinner-Pigeon-Sexer.
Leah, it's all about *leg movement, chin thingy* theatre! Hooray for talking and becoming closer, doll! I definitley approve. Love you!

A little song to end the blog...
a very good one by Paul Simon ("You Can Call Me Al")

A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard

Bonedigger Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

(That's for my girls)

Know the "Time and Date" thing at the bottom of the blog?
Is anyone else's messed up?
Mine's always totally off,
like by an hour and some random minutes.
Idunno why that is.
I was wondering about that.
Just in case you were curious.

...I've Got A Singular Impression...

A ton of relationship stuff has happened these past few days I've noticed.

Number 1: a huge talk on Saturday via MSN that, sadly, needed to happen.
Talking really does straighten things out. It gets people on the same page and gets everyone out of the dark. High hopes, misunderstandings and confusion definitley happen a lot in relationships, even if the relationship is a friendship, so talking always helps. I'm glad we talked because the whole situation feels a whole lot lighter now, and I'm glad about it.
Number 2: friendships that I thought were dwindling are now being rekindled. I knew it would be kind of akward to get back in the swing of things, but it's slowly starting to happen. And I think that once things get back to where they were before, or close to, that the ball will get rolling even faster and better than before. It might take a little time, but it's worth the wait.
Number 3: guess who I feel like I haven't seen for 15 years? Yes Pumpernickle, that would be you. It's very strange, isn't it? No ugly-girl Saturday and no lazy Sunday and me barely seeing you at school. But, we will do it again very soon I'm sure and it's cool because I'm your lady and you are my man. We don't need EVERY weekend together...I suppose...it's good to spread the wealth. ; ) None-the-less, Jay and I had so much fun and we wished that you could have been with us. It'll happen. White hot chocolate and Bailey's mini's when it comes to the 3 of us. And yes deary, Lemon Merangue Pie.
Number 4: I have officially decided that I never actually talk to Clay. What happened to the every-day phone calls? And the...well....every half hour phone calls? School happened, that's what. A short lived chat on MSN today did not do the lack of talking justice, let me just say. Not cool, One, not cool. But we'll make up for it because I'll see you soon enough to make a chain. ;)
Number 5: I think that my Cuff has dropped off of the face of the planet. Well, not completely, because I did get that comment on my blog for you. But still. No updates on the blog, no being on MSN. Sheesh. But, in, what, 11 days I'll know that you're alive.
Number 6: Jay we almost had 2 back-to-back sleepovers! Seriously, the fact that you stayed here until 4:30am basically counts as almost a sleepover...and then we had a real one the next day! I'm a fan of how you said today "I don't need to be at your house EVERYDAY! I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND WITH YOU. I hate you. You're a bitch". (the last part was mine). ps> Jason's very quick and enthusiastic response to me saying "yeah but you never had a crush on me" was "I USED to find you attractive". Thanks Jay. Yeah we could never date. Just because you USED to find me attractive, but then something happened. Hmm, maybe it was the breaking of my heart that made me ugly. Idunno Jay. (I know that right now you're saying outloud "But you know what I meant!!") and yes Jay I do. But it still hurts. A little sympathy, ok? I think YOU'RE pretty. God damn it.
Number 7: I'm not completely sure who even reads this blog of mine, so feel free to leave comments. Shout outs to Joel, Leah, Lindsay, Vanessa, Cody and Evan if you guys happen to read this one. I hope you all are doing very well!

Joel gave me a picture of the Batman symbol with a menorah sticking out of its head.
It is on a real shirt.
I wish I owned such a shirt, or such a logo.
BatJew all the way.
But I AM the Hojew.
That's almost the same thing.
Minus the utility belt.
Just in case you were curious.