The Prince And The Jew
This is a little story that completely made my night.
(sorry Daneel, he put you in the story too...)
"The Prince and the Jew"
- by Cole Hofstra
There once was a prince named Cole, and he was loved by all his people (yaayayyayay cheers and what not) . He was the greatest prince in all the land and the people could not wait for him to be King. But for this to happen, he needed a bride!!(dun dun daaaaa). But the only eligable girl around was the evil not so pretty , (mabye one day i promise) Accountant's daughter Daneel. Cole was doomed to a life of unhappyness with this dispicable ACCOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER (dum dum daaaaa) So with the wedding only a week away, Cole was getting panicy if he did not find somone he truly fancied or soon he would have to marry THE ACCOUNTANTS ...you get the idea...(dum dum daaaaa).
So he set out on what he called his "bachelor weekend" before the wedding to actually find himself a suitable wife... not the ACOU... hahaha.....So after searching town after town he could not find any single women (what is wrong with these people they are like bunnies or somthing).
The final town on his journey was the glorious - not - so - shabby - fantastic town of GMAC!. While walking in the town he saw a great deal of potential girls everywhere....what was the poor prince to do!? He went into the local tavern to have a fine pint of ale to see what opportunities would arise.
There were whores and prostitutes and single women grabbing at his heels just wishing to touch his GYNORMAS...petticoat...it was silk.
Then she walked in!!!!!!!
SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL he had ever laid eyes on. Her name was Rachie and she was the daughter of the poor Jewish lawyer. Cole was frazal dazaled and could not contain his excitement , so he quickly got up and ran ......straight into the washroom to urinate. But when he was done, he went up to talk to her.
She was of course, naturally, surrounded by bulky strong men. When Cole walked in, one of the men took a swing at him. Cole was a stranger in the town, of course, and being as pretty as he was, he was automatically a threat to them and their attempts at their beloved Rachie. So with a swing and a miss, Cole fought back with amazing speed and kicked royal ass.
When he was done, he carried Rachie off into the sunset....but they didn't get far before she kicked him in the groin and said, "Who the eff are you??!"
He ( while regaining blood to his manhood), exclaimed that she was "the girl of his dreams", and he "would do any thing to marry her!". He said, "The look in your deep eyes is so charming that I could spend a life time getting lost". She was obviously whhhoooed over by Cole's truth and charm, so she quickly agreed to marry him........overlooking the fact he had 6 toes.
So they set off on their way to the kingdom with only hours to go to the wedding to THE ACCOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER!!
(They battled a few hundred fireflies on the way but that is a different story)
So they arrived at the castle gate with wedding music playing. Cole and Rachie were twiterpatted with one another , and with all they have gone through together (fire flies!!), their bond could never be broken.
Cole then walked staight up to THE ACOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER Daneel and said, " I can't marry you because you're only moderate looking - but I promise one day you'll be pretty and people won't throw things any more".
She looked deep into Cole's face and could see that he had no feelings for her at all. She bit him, really hard..... I think there was a scar even.......and ran away flailing and yelling,"Not pretty.....not pretty...."
Cole and Rachie had their chance at last to be together and be bonded but......
Rachie is a JEW!
Silence fell over the crowd and Cole yelled at the top of his lungs, "I love her and if you people can't accept that then get the hell out of my kingdom!! I'll hang you all!!"
Everyone stayed silent untill there was a slow clap coming from the back!
It was sir Blake! Cole's advisor !!
The whole crowd cheered with thier new found (forced) acception and love for Rachie.
They were wed at once and had 122 children and mabye a dog. They spent their summers slaying dragons, and the winter torturing pesants and cuddling by the fire.
THE END
I don't think you're ugly, Daneel.
I think you're the prettiest
Accountant's daughter ever.
I would wed you.
Just in case you were curious.
(sorry Daneel, he put you in the story too...)
"The Prince and the Jew"
- by Cole Hofstra
There once was a prince named Cole, and he was loved by all his people (yaayayyayay cheers and what not) . He was the greatest prince in all the land and the people could not wait for him to be King. But for this to happen, he needed a bride!!(dun dun daaaaa). But the only eligable girl around was the evil not so pretty , (mabye one day i promise) Accountant's daughter Daneel. Cole was doomed to a life of unhappyness with this dispicable ACCOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER (dum dum daaaaa) So with the wedding only a week away, Cole was getting panicy if he did not find somone he truly fancied or soon he would have to marry THE ACCOUNTANTS ...you get the idea...(dum dum daaaaa).
So he set out on what he called his "bachelor weekend" before the wedding to actually find himself a suitable wife... not the ACOU... hahaha.....So after searching town after town he could not find any single women (what is wrong with these people they are like bunnies or somthing).
The final town on his journey was the glorious - not - so - shabby - fantastic town of GMAC!. While walking in the town he saw a great deal of potential girls everywhere....what was the poor prince to do!? He went into the local tavern to have a fine pint of ale to see what opportunities would arise.
There were whores and prostitutes and single women grabbing at his heels just wishing to touch his GYNORMAS...petticoat...it was silk.
Then she walked in!!!!!!!
SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL he had ever laid eyes on. Her name was Rachie and she was the daughter of the poor Jewish lawyer. Cole was frazal dazaled and could not contain his excitement , so he quickly got up and ran ......straight into the washroom to urinate. But when he was done, he went up to talk to her.
She was of course, naturally, surrounded by bulky strong men. When Cole walked in, one of the men took a swing at him. Cole was a stranger in the town, of course, and being as pretty as he was, he was automatically a threat to them and their attempts at their beloved Rachie. So with a swing and a miss, Cole fought back with amazing speed and kicked royal ass.
When he was done, he carried Rachie off into the sunset....but they didn't get far before she kicked him in the groin and said, "Who the eff are you??!"
He ( while regaining blood to his manhood), exclaimed that she was "the girl of his dreams", and he "would do any thing to marry her!". He said, "The look in your deep eyes is so charming that I could spend a life time getting lost". She was obviously whhhoooed over by Cole's truth and charm, so she quickly agreed to marry him........overlooking the fact he had 6 toes.
So they set off on their way to the kingdom with only hours to go to the wedding to THE ACCOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER!!
(They battled a few hundred fireflies on the way but that is a different story)
So they arrived at the castle gate with wedding music playing. Cole and Rachie were twiterpatted with one another , and with all they have gone through together (fire flies!!), their bond could never be broken.
Cole then walked staight up to THE ACOUNTANT'S DAUGHTER Daneel and said, " I can't marry you because you're only moderate looking - but I promise one day you'll be pretty and people won't throw things any more".
She looked deep into Cole's face and could see that he had no feelings for her at all. She bit him, really hard..... I think there was a scar even.......and ran away flailing and yelling,"Not pretty.....not pretty...."
Cole and Rachie had their chance at last to be together and be bonded but......
Rachie is a JEW!
Silence fell over the crowd and Cole yelled at the top of his lungs, "I love her and if you people can't accept that then get the hell out of my kingdom!! I'll hang you all!!"
Everyone stayed silent untill there was a slow clap coming from the back!
It was sir Blake! Cole's advisor !!
The whole crowd cheered with thier new found (forced) acception and love for Rachie.
They were wed at once and had 122 children and mabye a dog. They spent their summers slaying dragons, and the winter torturing pesants and cuddling by the fire.
THE END
I don't think you're ugly, Daneel.
I think you're the prettiest
Accountant's daughter ever.
I would wed you.
Just in case you were curious.
posted by Rae at 10:51 PM
7 Comments:
*shocked, appalled*
"Not pretty! .... Not pretty!"
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Best story ever. That's all I can say. No comment can compare to that story.... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...
JEW!!
See you tomorrow, Jew.
Best Story Ever!
*love*
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Update your blog.
You get my point! not that i'm one to talk. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I'm having BFFF withdrawl. Love ya!
HAPPY ISAD!!! I was going to write ISAD day, but realized it's redundant... just like when people say SIN number.
Anyway, I am excited to hear the product of your dilligent music making.--"your" being plural Dee, just in case you were curious.
SweetNess (from eating lots of chocolate: my Valentine's present to myself!!)
reduntancies like DC comics is detective comics comics... oooh nerdy.
Yeah i'm in accord with Jay Update.
Bitches.
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