Summertime...And The Livin' Is _____

Fill in the blank. For me, it's semi-easy - what with summer school and all - and it's beginning to feel semi-lonely as well. I'm not bored, I don't really seem to get bored, I'm just starting to feel lonely. In some ways I've been replaced, even if it's not fully admitted I know I have been - sometimes roads seem to split at the weirdest of times - and now that all of my friends are back in town from their respective wonderful post-secondary institutions, I find it hard to see them because they're getting jobs (weird I know) and I'm still in school and attempting to study and do well. It's strange. It just hit me today after a conversation I had with Evan. Back to before, that's all I can really say. Things feel like they're changing and I don't know if I'm going to like what is coming my way in the future, and by future I mean next year and maybe even in a week or so. I don't know how I'm going to handle things, and I always like to know in advance how I'm going to deal with potential situations. But this time, I'm kind of stumped, and I really don't like it. I want to know what my decisions are going to be and I want to have a more concrete concept in my head of what next year holds. But I don't. And it might be tough, but I don't want a repeat of some aspects of this year, that's for sure. I apparently don't know how to handle myself as well as I used to, or maybe, I never actually handled myself all that well, but I thought I did. Some things came out of the woodwork and they were really not positive this year(to make a joke for someone like Jaysen, yes, maybe they could have been termites) and they really hit me. I realized that things went wrong because of me, not because of anyone else. This happened on several occasions. Honestly, I always thought I was in control of myself and that I was doing a good job, but I guess I wasn't. This doesn't make sense, but a lot of the times my blogs don't make sense to you guys, but that's alright. It's a code, and maybe that's fun. I don't know.
This blog sounds depressed and maybe it is a little. Things in my life are truly changing and I can't get a grasp on them. It feels like a lot of things are slipping away but all I want to do is be alone. Yet, I'm lonely at the same time. How does that work?

This isn't to say that I'm not grateful for my friends. I love you guys. A ton. And I am so incredibly grateful for all of the fun that we have had this year, because there's been a HELL of a lot of it. And it's weird because even though we saw each other 2 days ago, I miss you all already, and it feels way longer. I guess that's what THAR's all about - being attatched at the hip.

I need to work harder at life.
I need to call and email people.
I have always been terrible at that.
But it doesn't mean that I'm not thinking about you.
But so what, right?
I should get off my ass and do something about missing people.

I love you guys.
Just in case you were curious.
(And I'm sorry if you were).