If Only

You were right, you know. As much as I denied it, as much as you pushed it, as much as you wished you were wrong yourself...you were right. I didn't think so though, for the longest time. And it's only now that I see how right you were. I still find it strange because I was so positive that this time I was right, that this time there was no way that I could be wrong, even though it's happened so many times before, because this time felt different. I guess I was blinded again...and again and again. I still can't help but think about how right it all felt though, and how honest and how lasting. I can't help but still believing it all because in my heart while it was happening, I believed it 100%...it was undeniable and it was proven to me over and over again...I was proven right over and over again and your views and worries were shattered, in my mind, because everyday you were proven wrong. And I was happy.
I'm not saying I didn't love it...I'm not saying that it was all a lie. I'm just saying that right now, it's fishy...very fishy and confusing...not just to me, but to others too.
Maybe you aren't right...or maybe I'm just blind. Some of it had to be true. It had to be...it wouldn't make any sense for it all to be a lie. I'm sure it was believed by both, not just by one. And at the time, I'm sure it was meant. Some things that were said were too good to be true and I knew that they were said in the moment...but not other things...not other things at all.
Maybe this is overreacting, which I am good at. But it's so odd that it's full force and then absolutely nothing - no inbetween. Even in the space, there was still something. Now, I'm not so sure.
This isn't the end...it's far from it...because everything did make a change and did make an impact. It just feels like it's on hold and I'm not sure whose job it is to change that, because I would never have put it on hold. For a long time, it didn't seem like it was going to be. This could have all just been bad timing, I suppose. I've told myself that a couple times, actually...that the timing is off, which it is in some ways. But it didn't have to be as off as it was. Completely off.
Friendships last. Certain ones do, anyways. Ones that are there all the time - not just there when they are there. You know what I mean.

One giant leap forward.
But still a few steps back.
Just in case you were curious.