Fever...

Brrr...it's cold in here...no wait, I mean, it's gettin' hot in here. Yeah, can't really make up my mind. This is just a little post to say that I hope that everyone's reading week is going smoother than mine is. I have this really strange flu - as I understand it, it's the same random virus [that's V I VIRUS) that's going around Edmonton, sorry "E-Town" right now. PS please never call it E-Town, that's really really lame. Anyways, it's a pain in the ass and I feel like crap and really that's all there is to it.
I wish I could get some work done but even this is making me feel sick. So that's enough blogging for now. I'm going to go lie down like I have been for the past 5 days. Please update me on how your week is going, everyone. Someone had better be doing something interesting and be willing to comment on my blog about it. Damn it.


Wow, welcome to winter, hey?
Why the hell did it start now?
It's making my scalp itchy.
Just in case you were curious.

'Tis A Gift To Be Simple...

"Simple" is a word that I haven't used, nor felt in a while now. School and rehearsals have a lot to do with that, just as does my social life. I miss the days when things were simple, or more simple, I suppose. Let's face it, things at school, whether it be at GMac or at Vic have never been completely simple - always deadlines, performances, rehearsals, travelling, friendships, rivalries, the whole thing about how none of my groups of friends have ever got along with each other [that has always plagued me it seems]. It's so hard to be really good friends with one person and then have all of your "group" of friends not care for that same person. It's usually easy enough to ignore and attempt to push though, but othertimes, it's unbearable - especially when you are in close quarters with all of your groups of friends at the same time. In the past little while, my eyes have truly opened up to situations around me - and it wasn't that I was trying to ignore the situations in the first place, just that, in my eyes, things had calmed down. I understand the reasoning, but I hate it. It's unfair to everyone involved. It seems that a lot of my blogs have been about this lately, but it's because I cannot escape it and it's starting to run me down. I had been so happy for a while, even my voice teacher noticed...but now, too many things are plaguing on my mind...if I waive, you shall profit.


I have highlighter on my boobs.
Yeah, Grovener...so fun.
Next time, I'm driving.
Just in case you were curious.

Weird

It's odd when your own fears and thoughts are said by another person. It's weird when those fears and thoughts are brought up just when you yourself think that everything is fine and that one side of your life has calmed down for a while. It's strange when the side you thought was happier and maybe even more stable is the one that's starting to shake. It's disheartening not to be "trusted" in some sense of the word. It's annoying to keep having storms. It's heartwrenching to not be able to talk to someone when you need to - yes, you can get advice from other people and other friends but sometimes you need one person's adivce and when that advice comes from the one person you can't talk to, you feel a bit lost. Maybe not even advice, maybe just needing to talk to one person but knowing that in some sense of it all, you are drifting, which makes it harder - hell, which makes it impossible. It's shocking to find out how well someone knows your life, without them even knowing it. It's shitty that you won't get any simpathy when it's all over, and even if you do, it will not be genuine. It's stupid to be thinking about the end, no matter how far down the track it is. To some, speedbumps and rough terrain are almost needed in a seemingly perfect situation. I, myself, somewhat enjoy that which is seemingly perfect - everyone needs smooth sailing once in a while.


This is pulling me in so many directions.
But I'm not going anywhere.
I will not be lost.
Just in case you were curious.

A Helluva Show

Well, closing night has come and gone and we all did such an amazing job of On The Town. There were some tears and a lot of stressing, but we got through it, and we did it with flying colors. New jokes and pictures and egos [warming up the audience for example] became even more apparent, but most were met with a great deal of laughter and not a lot of heavy consideration...which is good. Now it's on to cabarets, musical review, audition classes and Nine. Holy crap...we will never slow down. I need to get off my butt and get my act together because I'm starting to drift. Oh and some things are calming down, at least in public, which is great. I'm not sure what's going on inside, but outside things seem to be getting better. That's wonderful, considering there were some storms for a while. Now they are subsided. And I'm very very happy about it. Smooth sailing...for now at least.

If I didn't believe in you.
I can't believe it.
Just in case you were curious.