Weird

It's odd when your own fears and thoughts are said by another person. It's weird when those fears and thoughts are brought up just when you yourself think that everything is fine and that one side of your life has calmed down for a while. It's strange when the side you thought was happier and maybe even more stable is the one that's starting to shake. It's disheartening not to be "trusted" in some sense of the word. It's annoying to keep having storms. It's heartwrenching to not be able to talk to someone when you need to - yes, you can get advice from other people and other friends but sometimes you need one person's adivce and when that advice comes from the one person you can't talk to, you feel a bit lost. Maybe not even advice, maybe just needing to talk to one person but knowing that in some sense of it all, you are drifting, which makes it harder - hell, which makes it impossible. It's shocking to find out how well someone knows your life, without them even knowing it. It's shitty that you won't get any simpathy when it's all over, and even if you do, it will not be genuine. It's stupid to be thinking about the end, no matter how far down the track it is. To some, speedbumps and rough terrain are almost needed in a seemingly perfect situation. I, myself, somewhat enjoy that which is seemingly perfect - everyone needs smooth sailing once in a while.


This is pulling me in so many directions.
But I'm not going anywhere.
I will not be lost.
Just in case you were curious.