Cabaret

I have always been a person who hangs on to the past; I don't forget things easily. It's not that I hold grudges - that's a lie, I kind of do - but sometimes I find that I live in the past. I love reminiscing with friends, I love memories, I love inside jokes, I love songs that spark "last summer" or "the roadtrip" or any memories like that, I love sentences that start with "remember when...", as long as it's in moderation; I find that it can be quite trying to have an entire conversation with someone and only bring up the past. That kind of tells you something about the friendship I think; maybe that you don't want to move forward? Or that you find it hard to move past the "old days". Anyways, I'm only skimming the surface of the memories that I have from these past two years and I'm sure that I will only continue to delve deeper, especially closer to September. Many of my friends will say that this it true about me and I agree...it's the fact that I have a hard time letting things go, things like feelings for another person, whether they be good or bad, things like emotions brought up by the past; I have a hard time moving on. I agree with this and often, it's annoying. Sometimes I wish that I would be able to let go of certain memories and just focus on what's to come, not what was, not what could be...only things that I know for sure. But that's impossible for me a lot of the time; it can be very hard for me to live in the moment. I know that I've brought up so many things over and over and over again [thanks for the years of putting up with it, JayJay] and that I seem to ask the same questions and bring up the same topics over and over, only to ask more questions and to even ask the same questions again and again just to make sure that I'm getting the right answer. I wish I could say that this blog is putting an end to all of that...well, it's not, sorry friends. The reason for this blog's title is because the thing that brought this all up in my head tonight was me watching some of our cabarets. I'm so proud of all of us. Man, I'm starting to miss it all again, and again, and again...[you and me, Jay? HELLO]. This blog rambles, like most of my blogs. And so, like most of my blogs, please feel free to comment...it would make my day. :)

I'm not gonna lie, I'm starting to think more and more.
I'm confusing myself...very much so.
I hope I get some help figuring it all out. And soon.
Days go by...
[Think Full House theme song].
Just in case you were curious.